I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
