So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
