if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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