I wanna passion pit in your ass
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
porn star boner night. come get it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
