I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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