I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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