Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
