We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
