Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
