I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
