i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
