dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize