Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
