i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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