So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
