Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
