i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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