He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
