i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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