jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
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The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
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My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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