im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
