Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize