lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Let's get the cat blown out
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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