So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
