jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
