I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
