Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
