It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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