dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
