I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
