I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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