shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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