i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
