if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i out mim tonsoeep
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