omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
