She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm always down for nudity.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
