I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
