Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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