I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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