We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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