you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
