Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
