she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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