all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
