There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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