"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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