Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
