lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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