this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
