Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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