Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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