So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
