So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
