yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
