How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
