so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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