I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
