It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
