it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
