She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
