and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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