where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
